crosspost from instagram.

6/17/13

"it's not about finding someone who won't fight with you or make you sad. it's about finding the person who will still be standing there wiping the tears away, holding you in their arms after a fight. the one who will never leave, no matter how hard things get."

i have a tendency to fear being abandoned. that fear has been a reality far too much in my life. this is the first man who hasn't deserted me. he loves me unabashedly and whole-heartedly. he loves me when i'm unlovable and when i give him reasons not to. he is everything i've prayed for and all that i didn't even know i needed. he challenges me, pushes me to be and do better, believes in me, inspires me, cherishes me and protects me. truly my knight in shining armor and my earthly king. 

i'm shocked and amazed every moment i realize he's mine. 

slowly but surely, i'm beginning to see myself in his eyes and he helps me realize that i have worth and i deserve a love like he gives. 

tonight, we hit a couple roadblocks dead on. my insecurities out and in the open, i was completely vulnerable and he tackled them head on and effortlessly. i felt the knots in my stomach smooth out as he passionately and sternly poured out how he felt. and i sat there, wondering, "me? that's how you feel about little ole' me? the nobody? this unlovable creature?" and i felt my heart grow and reshape and begin to heal. 

to say he's special to me is putting it lightly. i'm a goner.