Wednesday, January 1, 2014

twenty fourteen. day one.


so it's a new year. i had a moment last night (or early this morning, whichever you choose)....i can't believe that it's twenty fourteen. i mean, i can believe it...it's just that my brain is still stuck on the transition from 1999 to 2000, you know? but here we are. it's two thousand and fourteen. and live is still being lived.

there was a lot that went on in 2013. a lot. in every department of my life, there was some kind of change. some kind of triumph. some kind of loss. some kind of setback. some kind of hope. i had to come out of my comfort zone a few times...something that i feel like i'm just getting better and better at. i struggled with finding an identity....something i'm still trying to figure out. i struggled with falling in love.....there's something about losing yourself in someone that is just too scary and leaves you vulnerable. and i don't like being vulnerable. not one bit. i struggled with finding my place and groove as a mom, but i was able to do it. and i kind of like who i am in that department. there's always room for improvement, but hey...i'll take the victories as they come. 

but man, this year is all about change and getting settled into a new groove. and i'm excited about that. it makes me feel anxious. but more of the good anxious you know. so many things are expected to happen this year. and i know some of them will fail. i know some of my expectations will be exceeded. but as long as i keep a sound mind and my heart set on Jesus, i'm sure it'll be a fantastic year.

...there's something about this year that's just rippling through the air. i can feel it. 

i'm not a big resolution-er, but i do believe in visualizing where you want to be at the end of it all. so here are some things and areas that i've been contemplating making a change or growing in.

>> i'd like to seek Jesus more. i tend to be a hindsight-er when dealing with life. i want to be more proactive in my relationship with God. not praising Him when i'm reminded, but just making it a daily habit, whether things are going good or bad or staying the same. i just want to be more intentional.
>> i'd love to be more intentional with my relationships. family, friends, romantic, business, and the like. i want everyone to know where they fit in my heart and to make it my intention to show them as often as possible.
>> i want to stay child-like in my mind. not immature, just full of hope and wonder. there's something i see in my kids when i'm mindful of it. they are so fascinated and so tied to the littlest, seemingly unimportant things in their little world. and i want to be that way. they're never NOT impressed by something that most of us take for granted. i want to be that way.
>> i want to continue taking my health seriously. not just the weight aspect, but overall just living a healthier life. not just for me, but my entire family.
>> i want to continue to seek, identify and nurture my personal development as an individual. i've spent a lot of time identifying myself based on my relationships with other people (ie: daughter, wife, mom, etc.) i want to really figure out Kiranda. what makes her tick. what helps her grow. what her setbacks and weaknesses are. all of that. 

and really....i just want to be happy. like i said, there are so many things that i'm planning or expecting to happen and i just want to find the happiness in the midst of all of that. some of it is good. some of it...nah so much. but contentment is the name of the game.

this is just page one in this brand new book i've been gifted. i'm excited to see how the story develops...

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