Tuesday, June 25, 2013

on starting over

if you know me, you know i've been blogging consistently since 2005 (with the exception of this last year). i have blogs on plenty of different platforms- myspace, livejournal, blogger, tumblr.... my thoughts and experiences are all over this world wide web. i tend to overshare and tell too much of my private life. and you'd think that'd get me in trouble. well, at times, it has. but i've learned to be selective...never telling any more than i would say to anyone. and it's worked.

but this last year, i've had a hard time figuring out what to share and what not to share. there has been so much going on. sometimes good. sometimes bad. sometimes downright awful. blogging has always been a form of release and therapy, but how do you work through your junk when you're too scared to share your dirt? how do you keep up your "therapy" when you're struggling with what to share and what not to share? as a person who tends to avoid uncomfortable situations....you don't. you just keep it moving with that fake smile plastered on your face when you feel like you're dying inside. and so i did.

but now. things are different. things are better. things are more consistently "good". i'm happier. i'm healthier. i feel like i can talk about the bad and the good and i won't worry about any of it anymore. i'm moving forward and starting over and that makes it so much easier to share.

so here we are.

if you followed me last blog, Mommyhood, you'll wonder why i'm not over there anymore. and i'll have to get into that more, but for now... {more on that here}

mommyhood started as a love blog. it started as a daily love letter while i waited for my boyfriend to get to me. then we got married and it became my daily love letter as a wife. then we had babies. and it became my journey through new motherhood and being a wife and the life i led with those two new titles. it has its ups and downs. it has memories i'll forever cherish. it has times that i never, ever want to forget. but it's time to start over. that's not my life anymore.

yes. i'm still a mom.
yes. i'm still navigating that part of my life.
but my time as a wife is coming to an end. and i'm okay with that.
i promise to explain. {here's that explanation}
there's still life in me. i'll still post about it all.

it didn't feel write to continue writing about my life on that old blog if i'm starting over. if i truly am starting over and moving forward, i need to do it on all fronts. including the blogosphere. so here comes lovewasted.

this is where i'm at. i'm wasted on love. in all the good ways and all the bad ways. i feel like my heart is old and stretched and tired. it needs to be repaired and yet it keeps on putting itself out there. i'm drunk on love. and love doesn't always mean in the romantic sense. i love so hard in so many different ways and have done so for as long as i can remember. and my heart feels completely intoxicated.

i'm lovewasted.

i hope you'll stick around. i hope you'll join me. i hope you'll grow with me. i hope you'll enjoy the memories i create and share here. i'm excited to start over. i'm excited to move forward. and i sincerely hope you'll virtually hold my hand and skip off in to the distant parts of the interwebz with me. i promise, it'll be a fun ride.

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